Haha Hey again! This would be at least thirty times cooler is someone read this as I updated it haha. Maybe I should advertise it? It probably wouldn't work people'd forget instantly.
Anyway!! Thought I'd talk about myself again, [well that's what a blog is for right?] I said I really wanted to go to uni didn't I? Well... I'm seriously doubting myself again! I mean it's natural I'd doubt myself, I'm not THAT clever and I suck at revising, I get distracted so easily. Plus I'm sure I've failed ICT already. If I get in it's a miracle.
I'm trying! Really, I really am trying to do my best, but I can't help it... I just get de-motivated so easily. I mean all I have to do is think logically and bam I know I've failed and I have no shot and I'll never amount to anything!! I'm even struggling to write my book despite the fact I know what I want to go in it, I know how it'll start and how it'll end but it's just filling in the rest to make up enough content for a book that's the hard bit.
I'm sure you can guess as much since I'm writing all this to a blog which no one reads, but I can't tell my friends/family this. I think they'll just not get it I guess. I mean sure they can say all they want "You'll do fine!" or "I'm sure you're worried about nothing, you've passed." or "It's fine to take as long as you need, there's no rush."
Of course there's a rush!! I want to go to uni! I want to do well! I want to be able to think "Gee aren't I clever!" Cos I can't, not really. So yeah. I thought maybe I had the motivation this year, but the more I think about it, the more I think, maybe I shouldn't do Japanese, maybe I shouldn't go to England, Maybe I shouldn't go to Uni with Clair, Maybe I shouldn't go to Japan. Maybe this is all just a sign saying "Give up, You suck, so don't bother trying." It's stupid right? But I can't not think like that! Guess that makes me really stupid, haha.
Aaand that's enough of me x.x
Signing off
CrymsenRose~!
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