Wow another update!!

Haha Hey again! This would be at least thirty times cooler is someone read this as I updated it haha. Maybe I should advertise it? It probably wouldn't work people'd forget instantly.

Anyway!! Thought I'd talk about myself again, [well that's what a blog is for right?] I said I really wanted to go to uni didn't I? Well... I'm seriously doubting myself again! I mean it's natural I'd doubt myself, I'm not THAT clever and I suck at revising, I get distracted so easily. Plus I'm sure I've failed ICT already. If I get in it's a miracle.

I'm trying! Really, I really am trying to do my best, but I can't help it... I just get de-motivated so easily. I mean all I have to do is think logically and bam I know I've failed and I have no shot and I'll never amount to anything!! I'm even struggling to write my book despite the fact I know what I want to go in it, I know how it'll start and how it'll end but it's just filling in the rest to make up enough content for a book that's the hard bit.

I'm sure you can guess as much since I'm writing all this to a blog which no one reads, but I can't tell my friends/family this. I think they'll just not get it I guess. I mean sure they can say all they want "You'll do fine!" or "I'm sure you're worried about nothing, you've passed." or "It's fine to take as long as you need, there's no rush."

Of course there's a rush!! I want to go to uni! I want to do well! I want to be able to think "Gee aren't I clever!" Cos I can't, not really. So yeah. I thought maybe I had the motivation this year, but the more I think about it, the more I think, maybe I shouldn't do Japanese, maybe I shouldn't go to England, Maybe I shouldn't go to Uni with Clair, Maybe I shouldn't go to Japan. Maybe this is all just a sign saying "Give up, You suck, so don't bother trying." It's stupid right? But I can't not think like that! Guess that makes me really stupid, haha.

Aaand that's enough of me x.x

Signing off
CrymsenRose~!

Bet you thought I forgot about this!

Hahaha, who am I kidding, there's no one here to think I forgot. Anyway, as always this is mostly just for me, but it'd be cool if someone was reading this! Although a little embarrassing? Although I know, I know, if I don't want people to know then I shouldn't post it online, I know that, I'm not an idiot, but maybe I need to have someone read this? Haha.

Anyway where to start... Well Jan exams were bad, I got a C in my AS sociology and a U in A2. I also did worse in my History exam [I think] ICT... We'll just forget about it alright? I barely got any coursework in on time. The exams were reasonable though. Resat all my exams, and I'm sitting my two A2 Sociology exams in the next couple of weeks! Wish me luck!!

I have a goal now? Well sorta, I guess part of me doesn't see it coming true, I mean how do I have faith in it if no one else will cheer me on? Well that's not true I have a couple of people cheering, just not the people I need. I'm planning to go to University next year, to do Japanese Studies and History, my third year is in Japan so I'm hoping Uni life is good to me and I come out of my shell enough to survive Japan! I have concerts and shopping I really want to do when I'm there, I'll probably wind up broke or something haha But anyway that's my goal! Japan!!

So wish me luck all my non-existing readers!! I'm still busy writing away though, I'm looking forwards to summer so I can focus on Video Games and Writing with knowing I have something more important to do haha.

Ah on a little sadder side? I feel like I'm missing out a little going to uni this year, I just started to get used to my Japanese Class! There's a guy who I enjoy talking to about Video Games, but my lack of social skills [Being Shy] means I barely spoke to most of my classmates this year, but I think maybe they like me a little more now at the end of the year? My mum baked a cake for them, haha. I'll miss Yasako-Sensei too, she was great! I don't know how next year will turn out, but I'm hoping for the best! Hey Ox Brookes! Take pity on me, I just suck at Irish History and Coursework, give me something I like and I'll be great I promise!! Just please accept me.

Haha, no idea why I added that, but it's true. Probably.

I guess that's it for today. My first update in months and it's short. That's a little surprising.

Signing off until next time
CrymsenRose~!